


Ravishing

by MothMeetsFlame



Series: How Far We Go [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bondage, Hurt!Reid, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PWP, Rape Roleplay, Ravishment, Rough Sex, Top!Hotch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-11 08:11:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1170741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MothMeetsFlame/pseuds/MothMeetsFlame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What was supposed to be a trip to the Smithsonian turns into something much different than Reid had in mind. Apparently, Hotch had an idea about how this night was supposed to go thanks to a large, and unwelcome, nudge from a teammate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ravishing

**Author's Note:**

> Starts with some PWP, ends with angst-filled hurt/comfort. The others in the series don't need to be read to enjoy this one.

_“My very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame.”_

_  
_―Charlotte Bronte, _Jane Eyre_

“I’m sorry,” he said again from above Reid. He was Reid this time, not Spencer like he was with Jason. Not Danny or Timmy or Johnny like he’d been with countless others. He was Reid and now that name would also be tainted, soiled with the blood and semen of unwanted intimacy. Somehow _I’m sorry_ seemed like too small of a condolence, yet it was all Hotch kept whispering as he ran his arms up and down Reid’s naked flesh, obsessed with the jut of his hips and the small shivers that racked his body at the touch.

“I can’t, Reid. I can’t…” Hotch took a shuddering breath, lost in his mind. The words seemed to escape him, but his hands never halted in their movements, trying to touch everywhere at once. Had Hotch’s tie not been in his mouth, Reid could have finished the sentence for him. Had Reid not been cuffed to his own bed, arms and legs splayed out as far as they could go, he could have ran, could have _not cared_ about the end of the sentence. But he was gagged and he was cuffed so he had to listen, had to hear the words that poured from Hotch’s mouth as he tweaked Reid’s nipples and stroked his shaft.

“So beautiful,” Hotch whispered. “Gorgeous.”

Reid sobbed at that, but Hotch kept going.

“You don’t know what you do to me, Reid. I can’t stop now, not when I’m so close. Please, just…” and Hotch shifted his hips, brushing Reid’s half-hard cock with his own clothed one and moaned at the touch.

Reid tried to move, tried to shift away, but all he did was increase the friction. Hotch’s breath hitched in his throat and Reid knew that he’d done the wrong thing, pushed Hotch over the edge. If he thought Hotch would possibly let it be with still-clothed touching, he was wrong. He’d pushed too far and now Hotch was freeing his dripping cock from the confines of his pants—still the black slacks he’d worn at work and Reid knew he’d never be able to look at Hotch in those pants again without thinking of the moment his cock sprang free.

Reid’s eyes widened at the sheer size of it. Jason’s had always been the biggest he’d had to take. Most men who visited him were small and insecure with themselves, at least sexually. It was nothing to have those men in him. Jason was the biggest that he’d ever seen in person, that he’d had in him. He knew it was possible for a man to have a bigger cock than him. Realistically, Jason was merely an inch over the average, but Hotch’s cock was huge, heading toward the double-digits, if not there already.

Hotch whispered at Reid’s fearful look, “I’ll make it good. So pretty.”  He caressed Reid’s face as the tears began to fall. “You don’t know what you do to me, Reid, how hard it is to pretend I’m just your boss when everything you do gets me hard.”

He emphasized this with a stroke of his cock. A bead of precome dribbled down the head and Reid shuddered at the thought that—there was no doubt about it now—it was going to be inside of him.

Hotch pulled a small bottle of lube from his pocket and generously coated two fingers. He nudged them against Reid’s hole, probing more than teasing. He didn’t press anything inside of him just yet, content with feeling him like this first. His other hand grasped Reid’s length and gave it a slow stroke. Reid’s body reacted strongly to the touch. His cock hardened rapidly and he had to hold back a gasp when Hotch have a small twist near the tip, stimulating the sensitive nerves. When Hotch did it again, Reid hissed, caught between the pleasure of receiving a hand job from someone who knew what he was doing and the shame of enjoying the act, even though he didn’t have a choice.

It was then that the first finger breached him, moving in and out at the same pace as the fist stroked his cock. Before long one finger became two, scissoring back and forth to stretch him for a third. Within minutes, his ring finger slipped in along his other two and he was forced deeper and wider, the burn over-painful since it had been so long. Jason hardly ever came to him anymore except on the really bad cases. It had been months. Now, being stretched so wide after so long… Reid flinched in pain with every movement.

“Shhh,” Hotch soothed him. “It’s okay, Reid. Just relax.”

And it wasn’t until he’d said that that Reid realized just how tight his muscles were. He concentrated on resting them—it would only be more pain if he didn’t—and focused instead on the feel of Hotch’s hand stroking his cock back to hardness.

“Gorgeous,” Hotch whispered and Reid flushed at the praise, disgusted and shamed at the pride that surfaced from pleasing the man. “Everything about you is so beautiful, Reid, so good.”

When Reid had accommodated to the stretch, Hotch added his pinky finger. Reid never thought that such a small digit inside of him would make much of a difference, but with it, Hotch was able to push deeper inside Reid, the knuckles of his fist breaching him and pressing past the entrance of his stretched out hole until his hand was completely inside but for the thumb.

He could feel Hotch, pressing against his prostate with every part of his hand as he twisted and wriggled inside of him and he couldn’t keep silent. Among the gasps of pain were loud moans and with each and every one, Hotch seemed to focus more on Reid and the noises he made.

Reid didn’t know what to feel. Hotch’s hand moved in and out of him for what seemed like hours and the pain fled almost completely. Hotch kept a firm hand on his cock, stopping only when Reid was too close to release. It frustrated Reid that he was unable to come, his cock rock hard, and if he hated Hotch for forcing this on him, he hated the man more for torturing him in this way, making him want it.

After the tenth time of being denied orgasm, Reid tried to speak, but was hindered by the makeshift gag in his mouth. He pleaded with his eyes and Hotch, thankfully, knew what he wanted.

“Promise me, Reid. No screaming.”

Reid nodded eagerly and Hotch removed the tie from his mouth, fingers never ceasing their movement inside of him.

“Please,” Reid begged, sobbing once he could speak. “Please.”

“Tell me, Reid,” Hotch said.

“Please, stop this, Hotch.”

“I can’t. I need you, Reid. I need this.”

“Think about Haley,” he tried.

“This is us, just us. I have to show you how I feel, have to have you.”

Spencer’s sobs grew louder even as he sought Hotch’s touch. “Please don’t,” he cried.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make it good.”

“No! Don’t, Hotch. Don’t— _Aaaugh!_ ” and then he couldn’t protest anymore because this time, when he came close to the edge, Hotch pushed him over and allowed his release.

Hot spurts of come coated Reid’s stomach and his head swam as the endorphins flooded his system. He barely noticed the absence of fingers as he tried to get his bearings, but he couldn’t miss the thick member pressing into him, stretching him more than anything ever had. He could feel everything. And nothing, not even the pleasure of his recent orgasm, could mask the pain as he was torn open on Hotch’s cock.

“So good,” Hotch moaned. “So tight. Oh, god, Reid.” He pulled back and thrust inside, going deeper each time until he was fully seated inside him.

Reid tried to pull back, to get away, but Hotch knew what he was doing when he’d tied him down. There was no escape from the stabbing pains that traveled up his spine with every spear of the substantial length inside him. His muscles fluttered, tightened, trying to dispel the foreign objet at no avail. Hotch panted above him, murmuring praises of _ohgodsotightsopretty_ and chanting Reid’s name in between.

“St –stop, Hotch. It h -h-urts— _ah!—please_ , Ho -tch. Please.”

“Love you so much, Reid,” Hotch murmured over him, penetrating as deep as he could go. “Didn’t know how to tell you. Loved you for years. Oh so good, Reid. Knew you’d be good, be the best. So tight. Gorgeous.”

Reid’s words grew incomprehensible as his sobbing took his ability to speak.

Hotch’s thrusts became more and more erratic and Reid absently knew the man was close, but he couldn’t bring himself to aid the process, even if it meant an end to the pain. He was too far gone, too spent. His mind was a jumble of thoughts and any hope of compartmentalizing with Hotch inside him became a distant dream.

“ _Reid!_ ” Hotch came with the name on his lips.

Reid could feel the white hot come filling him even further. There was too much, some dribbling out of him and onto the already soiled sheets. Hotch fucked himself through his orgasm, pulling out completely only when he was too soft to keep inside. Reid’s sobbing died down, nearly silent with the member no longer inside of him.

“Oh, god, Reid,” Hotch said after he’d rolled to Reid’s side, panting in his post-orgasmic haze. “That was fantastic. I though for sure you were going to use your safeword when you saw how big I was.” He chuckled at the high of it, “but I have to say I’m glad you didn’t. That was amazing.”

Reid’s words, despite the thickness in his throat, were clear in Hotch’s ears. “W –what sa –safe wo –rd?”

“The safeword, stop-word, whatever you want to call it.” Hotch saw the open confusion on the man’s face. “Reid?” And it was more than concern in his voice, it was pure terror.

“What co- code word, H –Hotch? I didn’t ha –have one.”

“Smithsonian…” Hotch murmured and Reid understood, knew exactly what had happened. It wasn’t Hotch’s fault. Everything that had transpired had been a simple matter of miscommunication that could only have been orchestrated by one person.

A fresh set of tears coursed down his cheeks as he was forced to come to terms with another betrayal.

“Reid? Spencer?”

And the use of his first name just pushed him further down into the shame, guilt, and depression he seemed to always find himself in.

“Oh, god,” Hotch choked out as he realized what he’d just done. Small traces of blood mixed with the semen on his shaft and he was disgusted with himself, horrified for Reid. He swallowed down the bile in his throat, knowing that to vomit now would mean leaving Reid like this and he couldn’t do that to him.

He released the younger man from his bindings, scared even more when Reid simply curled into himself on the bed, a broken shell of the man he’d seen at the office.

“Reid, I…” And he trailed off because there was nothing he could say that could possibly make up for what he’d done.

That’s why he was surprised when he heard what Reid had to say. “I –It’s okay. It’s not y –your fault, Ho –tch.”

Hotch didn’t know how to answer that. How wasn’t this his fault? He thought of a hundred different things he could have done differently that would have prevented this from happening. It was his fault, all of it.

“I –It’s me,” Reid said remorsefully. “My f –fault.” And when he looked up at Hotch with such a wounded expression, Hotch felt it tug at his heart and, more than anything, he ached to go to the man, to offer comfort. He couldn’t after what he’d done, he knew, but the urge was there.

Then Reid’s arms came up, seeking a comforting touch, and Hotch couldn’t deny him. If this was what Reid needed, he could provide it even if he wanted nothing more than to empty his stomach with the disgust of what he’d done. Hotch curled next to Reid and allowed himself to be pulled into Reid’s arms. Large shivers racked Hotch’s body, but Reid was surprisingly steady in light of what had happened. Then Hotch realized. Reid was trying to comfort him.

“It’s my fault,” Reid said again and Hotch looked up at him. He wanted to protest, to tell him that it’s never the victim’s fault, but he could see the look on Reid’s face, like he was trying to get something out, and decided against interrupting him now.

“I said no,” Reid explained. “I never say no and she knew that, she knew about me and Jason and about… about how we met and… she wanted more and I said no.” Reid looked at him then seeking forgiveness with guilty eyes. “You were the whip, Hotch, not the wielder. She wanted to hurt me so she used you and… I’m so sorry. I could have said yes, Hotch. I could have just taken it like –like… and then you wouldn’t have been… I’m sorry.” Tears of frustration and guilt and anger came this time.

“Look at me, Reid,” Hotch said in a soft but stern voice. “This is not your fault, no matter what anyone says, not matter what you think. Most of the fault lies with me and some of it with whoever orchestrated this, but none of it—not the smallest little particle of it—lies with you. Do you understand me?”

Reid looked away then, not bothering to answer.

There were a thousand things Hotch wanted to say, but none of them would reach the young genius. He’d built too many walls, had too much guilt. It would take more than a few words to erase that. So he went with a different approach. “She?” he asked.

Reid looked down at him, puzzled.

“You said ‘she,’” Hotch explained.

“Don’t worry about it,” Reid said softly.

“Reid. I can help. I know you shouldn’t trust me after… after I raped you… and I’m the last person you’d want to talk to, but if someone’s doing something and you want it to stop, I can help. I know it won’t make up for what I did, but let me help you, Reid.”

“It’s not your fault,” Reid said harshly. “I know that you want to take the blame for this, Hotch, and maybe it’s not my fault, but it’s not yours either so stop beating yourself up for it. Nothing happened that I can’t handle. Trust me.”

And those final two words broke Hotch’s heart because it told him that it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. How many times had Reid been hurt this way? And Hotch was sure that some of it had happened after he’d joined the bureau. The way he spoke hinted at it being an ongoing situation.

“Don’t pity me, Aaron,” Reid said and the softness of his tone did more to quell his pity than the words did. “What happens to me helps me in the long run. My life is made up of experiences. They may not all be good, but I learn from them. They shape me. Experience shouldn’t be pitied.”

Hotch nodded.

They lied in silence for a few minutes, both lost in their thoughts.

 

_“Hey, Boy Wonder. Overheard Hotch say something about the Smithsonian this weekend.”_

_“He did?”_

_“Yeah. I think he plans on asking you.”_

_“Why me?”_

_“Really, Reid? Museums are kinda your thing.”_

_“So…Smithsonian, Reid?”_

_“Yeah. This Friday? I don’t have a car so…”_

_“Your place?”_

_“If you don’t mind.”_

_“You sure you’re ready?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“Um, Smithsonian, remember?”_

_“Yeah. Of course. And I guess I’m ready when you are… Hotch? What are you—?”_

 

It could only be her, Reid knew. There was only one person smart and stupid enough to run a scam like this, only one person who had the means to set this up. It might take Hotch a while before he figured it out, but she was good enough that it would only be a nagging suspicion in his mind. He may suspect, but he’d never fully believe it.

“You called me Aaron,” Hotch said, startling Reid from his thoughts.

“I knew you needed to hear it.”

Reid sensed his confusion and elaborated.

“I called you Hotch when you fucked me,” he said. The profanity seemed out of place in the conversation, but Hotch knew that there were too few terms for what had happened between them and that Reid had chosen the lesser of two evils. “Using the name I call you when we’re personally and emotionally closed off in the office was my way of distancing myself from what was happening. But I wasn’t closing myself off from you when I asked you not to pity me. I needed you to know that I forgive you. Completely. And that I understand how you feel right now.”

“Using my name did all that?” Hotch asked.

“Didn’t it?” Reid replied.

Hotch thought about it and nodded. “It did.”

Much to Hotch’s surprise, Reid moved toward him and placed a light kiss on his temple. “I’m sorry about this, Aaron. I’m sorry you have to live with this.”

Hotch hadn’t given himself time to think about what this had done to him, only the atrocity that he’d committed on Reid. But now that he was given the time to think about it, he felt the expected guilt and shame, but there was an unexpected feeling of being violated. He was used and, in being used, he’d heart someone he truly loved. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d professed it to Reid. It had come unbidden from his lips, but that didn’t make the words any less true.

“Shhh. I’ve got you, Aaron. It’s alright,” Reid murmured, holding him close while he cried. Shivers racked his body and his emotions ran rampant. He didn’t know what he was supposed to think or feel. Was this what it felt like to be torn apart?

They lied like that for a while, even after the shivers died down and Reid had stopped whispering meaningless nothings to soothe him.

“Hotch? Are you asleep?” Reid whispered.

“No,” Hotch whispered back, just as soft. He sensed Reid’s hesitation. “Reid?”

“I… I need to clean up,” he said.

Hotch cursed himself for not thinking about that. Dried sweat and come and blood coated both of their bodies. Of course Reid would need to clean.

“I’d do it myself,” he continued, “but I don’t think I can stand yet.”

Hotch crawled away from the comfort of Reid’s arms and lifted the younger man to carry him bridally into the restroom. He ran a bath, certain that a shower would be beyond him at the moment.

“Oh my god, Reid,” Hotch exclaimed when he saw the amount of blood soiling the water.

“It’s not as bad as it looks, Hotch. I’ll be fine after a good night’s sleep.”

“That’s a lot of blood. I think you need to go to the hospital.”

Reid sighed. “It only looks like a lot because it’s mixing in the water. Besides, the hospital is the worst idea imaginable. You know they’ll be forced to report this.”

“You should report this,” Hotch said softly.

Reid ignored the comment and scrubbed himself clean. He waited on the toilet while Hotch cleaned himself up and changed the soiled bedding. When the older man joined him, Reid thought he looked a hundred times better. He hated to ask for something else that could ruin it.

“What are you thinking?” Hotch asked

“I don’t want to go to the hospital, but I need to take care of… There’s a tube of medicine in my top drawer.”

He grabbed the tube and handed it to him. Hotch didn’t want to know how often Reid had to use it. It was nearly empty.

“Thanks,” Reid murmured.

“Something else?” Hotch probed. He hated that he had to drag words out of a man who normally needed to be silenced.

“I don’t think I can get my fingers deep enough on my own. You don’t have to,” Reid was quick to say. “If you’re uncomfortable, I can just get what I can reach and it should be fine.”

It took a second for him to realize what Reid was saying. “I can do it,” Hotch said softly.

Reid handed him the tube and Hotch guided him back to the bed and laid him on his stomach.

Hotch shivered when he coated his middle finger with the ointment, flashing back to when he’d done something similar just hours before. “Are you sure, Reid?” Hotch asked, making sure there were no doubts as to what the man wanted.

“I’m sure. Just… careful. I’m still sensitive.”

“Relax,” Hotch said as he pressed the coated finger inside.

Reid hissed, but Hotch kept going, knowing that to delay was only to cause more pain. He spread the ointment, making sure to coat anything he could get to. He pressed the finger all the way inside, as far as it could go, and found the clotted tears he’d made. He put more ointment on his finger and went in again. When he was sure he’d gotten everything, he pulled out and washed his hands in the bathroom.

“Thanks, Hotch,” Reid said, rolling onto his side to make room for the older man. “You –you can stay… if you want. I mean, we don’t have to… do _that_ … I don’t want to…but I’m pretty sure that you planned on staying the weekend here and that you told Haley not to expect you so it would be weird for you to go home now, especially since it’s so late at night, and then if she made a pass at you, I doubt you’d be in the mood… Well, I assume. I mean, I guess I don’t really know—”

“Reid,” Hotch stopped him. “Are you sure you’ll be alright if I stay?”

“Yeah, Hotch. Just, don’t read too much into it, okay?”

“Okay,” Hotch said. He climbed into bed and Reid was surprisingly content, even with everything that had passed, when Hotch held him tight as they fell asleep.

 

 _“Nothing like being in a dream, then waking up to a nightmare.”_  
― Anthony Liccione

**Author's Note:**

> COMMENTS!


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